Q. I am 57 and I have done well. It is time to give back. I am looking at joining Rotary—I like what they do in the community and in the world. Can you think of any service organization that would fit me better? –Bill

A. Rotary offers many opportunities for giving back, Bill. Give it a try and see if it suits you. To offer your best to any service group, focus on your interests and talents. Do you like to cook? If so, feed the homeless. Do you have great organizational skills? Take charge of a committee. Are you good with numbers? Handle the finances. Are you a great marketer? Get involved with fund-raising. Do you like carpentry or working with your hands? Help build a house. If you do what you love, in work or in service to others, your well will never run dry.

Q. For years I have dreamed of playing golf. But I am all talk and no action. When my eye surgeon told me a couple of weeks ago that my visual acuity is ideal for golf, my interest in playing was rekindled. I am concerned about spending four hours on the course each time I play—I have a "type A" personality. How do I get started? –Stuart

A. Here's how to make a "type-A" commitment to golf, Stuart: Start by buying second-hand gear and take some golf lessons. After playing the public courses, consider joining a golf club. The financial commitment alone will pressure you into making the most of your membership.

To play a round of golf, you need to set a date with friends. If you miss your golf date, you will disappoint your friends. If you don't follow through on golf, you will not only miss out on a great pastime, you will be friendless and broke. How's that for motivation?

Q. My friends and family tell me I am completely predictable. Are
they really telling me that I am a bore? What can I do to spice up my image? –Sylvie

A. Make a list of all the things you want to do before you die, Sylvie. Organize the list from most important to least. Make it your life's mission to accomplish everything on the list.

Follow through on your list, starting today. Include friends and loved ones in your adventures. Challenge yourself with something new—don't worry about what people think. Have fun surprising those who know you best. Don't wait for invitations to spice up your life—be a do-it-yourselfer.

Q. I am 40, divorced, and have worked hard my entire adult life. The good news is that I am successful—tops in my field of law and well networked. The bad news is that my personal life does not go beyond taking care of my two children and dealing with administrative tasks. I spend my weekends organizing papers that have accumulated around the house. Thankfully, my teen-agers are responsible and tell me they are happy. However, I have no hobbies and don't get out much (except to go to work, where things are swell). How can I get a life? –Ravi

A. Something tells me you are the kind of guy who works 12 to 14 hours a day, Ravi. Stop taking every piece of work that comes your way. Find a way to delegate or refer work to others so you can put in more reasonable hours. If possible, get an administrative assistant to take over your mundane chores.

With your new free time, show your children the value of a well-rounded life. Take your kids horseback riding. Learn together how to create gourmet meals. Feed the homeless. Take your kids on a trip to Peru. Be more than a fixture around the house.

Call the single friends in your network and get out at least one night a week. Two nights a week equals twice the fun. If you try new activities, something—or someone—is bound to capture your enthusiasm.

Q. Broadway shows put me to sleep, but my wife insists that we get out. Now my wife is threatening to drag me to the opera. I am 45 and was raised by a television (my parents were busy running their auto-body repair business). Just so you don't think I'm a professional couch potato, I am an entrepreneur with a wonderful family, two homes and five cars. How can I keep my wife happy? –Jeff

A. You can't make your wife happy if you are unhappy, Jeff. The problem is that you are not doing what you want to do. Why leave it to your wife to come up with ideas only to criticize her choices?

Take responsibility for your happiness. Come up with crazy and fun dates and propose them to your wife. If you come up short on ideas, ask your friends (male and female) for input.

You may still end up at the opera from time to time, but the balance of your free time will be limited only by your imagination. This is your chance to get creative.

Q. I moved from California to Minnesota a couple of years ago. I just got on a scale and received a nasty reading. I realize now that I did not move my body from December to May. The colder it gets, the less I move. When summer comes around, I become more active. Weight has never been an issue for me in the past. My work in advertising keeps me in a cozy studio all winter. How can I regain my physical vibrancy? –Anita

A. Why did you move from California to Minnesota, Anita? Could it be that you are eating and vegetating because you are unhappy? If you are unhappy, no amount of dieting or exercise will solve the problem. See a shrink and get your personal life back on track.

If you are happy in Minnesota, think about what you were doing right in California—exercise and eating habits, for instance. You can't replicate your old California lifestyle in the winter, but you can find indoor activities to replace them. If all else fails, return to California—your life may depend on it.

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